HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR GROOMSMEN

It’s sometimes a contentious thing to choose your groomsmen. How many do you have? Do you include your siblings? Which friends do you leave out? There are many things to consider, from heights (for photos), the cost of being a groomsman, and even the group dynamic. Really, it all comes down to how you want your wedding day to go; the only person you need to satisfy is you (and your spouse-to-be).
In choosing your groomsmen, talking to your spouse-to-be is the best place to start. Often, a couple getting married want symmetry in photos, or the same number of people on each side. Before choosing your groomsmen, be sure to discuss with your fiancé/e the expectations and needs they see as important. Once you’ve established that, you can go on with thinking of who to include.

START WITH A NUMBER

If you start with a limitation, it makes the process of choosing who will be in your groom’s party a lot easier. If you and your partner agree on having three people each, stick to that limit, and see who fits in the number. Once you set an expectation for yourself, you can then work within that to find the best arrangement you can.
How many is a good number of groomsmen and bridesmaids? The only people who can answer that question about your wedding is you and your partner. Have ten people each if you like, or just one, or none at all. It’s totally up to you.

WHAT YOU WANT IN A GROOMSMAN

Some couples involve their groom’s party in the entire wedding planning process, and other only delegate jobs on the actual day. However much your groomsmen are involved in the planning, there will probably be things you want them to be responsible for. Groomsmen are people you can delegate responsibilities to, like being point people for your suppliers on the day (photographer, pâtissier, florist…), taking the stress off while you enjoy your day. Some sense of organisation or responsibility is an asset for anyone in a bridal party, especially for a best man, who may have even more duties, such as arranging a buck’s night/stag do/bachelor party, taking care of wedding rings, signing the wedding register or making a speech.

THINK ABOUT FAMILY (INCLUDING YOUR NEW ONE)

Which family members (if any) do you want to include in your wedding party? Siblings can be a good place to start. Don’t forget you may also be adding some new siblings to your family when you marry, so you may want to consider including some of your partner’s family members – especially if your split of groomsmen and bridesmaids is along traditional gender lines.

PICK THE PEOPLE FOR RIGHT NOW

You may have had an idea of who you want in your wedding party since high school. That’s great, but what you don’t want is to find out that you and your once-best-buddy aren’t actually that close any more, the day before the wedding. Think about the people you are closest to right now, and who are the people you’ll stay in touch with going forward. Those people are the ones you should consider for your wedding party.

THE WEDDING PARTY IS NOT THE ONLY ROLE AT THE WEDDING

Some people have a lot of friends, and a lot of people who want to play an important role at the wedding. That’s okay! The wedding party is not the only important – or, necessarily, even the most important – role at the wedding. There are speeches to give, you’ll need a celebrant (and your friends can get certified!) you can have readings during the ceremony, you’ll need ushers, ringbearers, emcees, people to help you get ready and maybe even performers, if your friends or family are musically talented. If you prefer to keep your wedding party small, or not have one at all, these are all important roles that you’ll need to fill.

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